How I feel about Halo.

SHOOT THE BIG BLURRY SHINY GUY WHO IS GREEN OR PURPLE.

Over the past decade I have had a rocky relationship with the Halo franchise. There were times where I loathed it, vowing to never touch it's wretched discs again. Other times I actually bought the fucking thing. Nowadays I'm a fan. Let's rewind time to see where the fuck I went insane.

Halo was released in 2001 or 2002, one of those years. I'm too lazy to confirm facts with Wikipedia, so I'll just let you know that I bought it and an X-Box in 2002 after I graduated high school. At that time I kinda hated the X-Box, because it was new and I thought it was stupid. Everything on the console looked big and dumb, even the controller was fucking enormous. Those were the days of console domination from eastern developers, most US made games were simply shit (except PC games).

Halo was a mediocre game, but it was an exceptional console shooter. I had seen the promise land of multiplayer shooters, I had played CounterStrike and Day of Defeat. Shit, I had played the Quakes, been obsessed with Doom and it's badass little brother Doom 2. Halo was a space man doing a disco dance in comparison to these games, but it hit at the right place at the right time.

Halo wouldn't be this sweet for like 8 more years.

In my opinion, the X-Box and PS2 generation blew video games into the megasphere. There had been huge consoles prior, but it had always been considered a kid's hobby. The newer games looked more and more realistic, and the games became edgier and edgier. Halo dropped right in the middle of this shitstorm, and everybody went fucking bonkers. Since it was a decent multiplayer shooter, and on the hottest consumer item of the year, it sold like hot cakes covered in Monster Energy Drink.

I don't even know what the fuck this is, I found it on Google.
Maybe the bullet holes are to keep that fucker cold.

I played through most of the game, and played the multiplayer quite a bit. After a while, I found the game quite boring and put it down since I was playing other, more interesting online games at the time. I didn't really think much of the game beyond it being OK, but the hype wasn't dying down over the thing. People everywhere loved it and they do what people do best, annoy the shit out of me.

I worked at a Gamestop for a few years after I started college. Every fucking day I would have to listen to some kid tell me how Halo was the best looking, best playing, best smelling, and best tasting game ever made to date. EVERY. DAY. Resident Evil on the Gamecube was out at this time, so I would usually point to it and say "that game right there looks way better, and it is a fact." At this point they would point out to me that the Gamecube was a Nintendo, and Nintendo's were for babies. You can see where I had a hard time working at Gamestop.

The fanfare never fucking stopped and Halo 2 was on the horizon. This time everything was twice as fucktastic, so I had to get ready for this one. I still worked at Gamestop when Halo 2 came out, and you'd think God himself showed up on Earth and gave everybody a Ferrari. People were so worried about pre-ordering the game, they would frantically rush into the store asking about pre-orders. I told them there would definitely be plenty, because why wouldn't there be? I was right, because I'm pretty sure you could buy them in gas stations.

Halo 2 was more of the same, blah, blah, blah. You already know, you've played it. I have, too. At this point I was still not a fan. The multiplayer was only fun because you can play with friends and that aspect is cool. The game still felt clunky and everything still looked shiny and gross. The games just didn't look that great, and they were just OK. Halo and Halo 2 were just OK, nothing more, nothing less. I am going on record with that one.

After the X-Box 360 came out, it was just a matter of time before a new Halo was going to be released. I was as jaded as anyone could possibly ever get, so I was preparing for a shitstorm. I suppose I grew up, or grew out of whatever funk I was in, because I ACTUALLY BOUGHT THE GAME. That's right. I went to a store and bought the game for 60 doll hairs. Brand new. Mostly it was because I played with my friends on the XBL a lot, and I succumb to peer pressure easily.

After playing through the campaign with my friends, I was more interested in the series. The story, as far as I can tell, is that little gremlins hang out with big grunty guys and they throw purple balls. This all takes place on a donut in space. That's Halo's story in a nutshell. There is also a sexy computer program chick who tells you what to do. So, the story wasn't why I was interested in the game. It was more about the experience, not really the game itself. Although, I will say Halo 3 was a step in the right direction. The world looked like a place that actually exists, it wasn't shiny and the gameplay was a lot tighter. Master Chief also didn't feel like he was floating on air anymore.

You forgot he was in this game.

The next game in the series was ODST, which was an enjoyable experience. It had the same multiplayer as 3, so I didn't really dive too deep into it. The campaign was fun, but I really don't remember much beyond Nathan Fillion and that chick's chin. Overall I rate that game a "I don't really think it was bad, but it's wasn't amazing."

This image was more than enough to make me excited to play.

Halo Reach, however, was quite good. The campaign was great, it had a lot of great action and the experience was pretty intense. The multiplayer modes were fun, and I actually enjoyed playing it. The game took a huge leap in visuals, and the worlds were looking more and more real and less like giant blurry, shiny purple things. I don't really have a lot to say about it other than it was a great game, and the ending was crazy intense. I like my games to have crazy intense endings like that.

And you thought he was stuck in a ship floating in space. Oh wait.

After Reach, the reigns of the franchise was tossed over to 343 Industries and the only thing I have to say about that is: hallelujah. Halo 4 is good, at least from what I've played of it. The first thing I noticed in the game is how great everything looks. There is detail now, stuff looks like an actual place. Granted the previous three games in the franchise were getting there, but this one pulled it over the line. Looking around on the Forerunner planet at the stuff is actually entertaining. It's sort of like when you see a reaper in Mass Effect, you can't help but look at it and stare in awe at how fucking huge it is. This is sorta like that.

Halo 4 also has a pretty solid multiplayer portion. Granted I've only put a few hours into it, I've enjoy every minute of it. I used to get pretty pissed off when I died in Halo due to cheap shit, but now I mostly just sit in awe of some crazy shit some dude just pulled off to kill me. The gameplay is reminiscent of the older games, but with a new level of polish. I feel like the controls are a little bit tighter and everything just flows a lot better. Everything is nice and smooth, while still maintaining the great visuals.I never thought I'd say a Halo game look good, but this one does. Good work, 343.

I am currently playing through the single player campaign on Legendary, and it is the biggest pain in the ass ever. Legendary on co-op is sort of a gimme, since there are 4 people to lay waste to everything and you really have to play on Legendary to get the full experience. I feel the same way about single player, Legendary is the only way to go...but damn is it annoyingly hard. At times I feel like there is no strategy to this mode, just shoot stuff, find bullets and hide behind cover until your shields heal. When I feel that way, I usually find myself ducking behind boxes, popping up to take potshots at stuff, dipping back behind walls to flank enemies and find weapons. So I guess there is strategy, I just like to complain.

I guess Halo 3 is what started steering me towards the light, although I will never admit this to be my favorite shooter franchise (Doom will hold that title until the day the world gets blown up while Rose and the Doctor look on). 3, ODST, Reach and now 4 have shown a tremendous leap from the Halo of yore to the Halo of today. So if you ever hear me talking about playing Halo and enjoying it, now you have some idea of what has transpired since the days of me totally hating and bashing this game into the ground. Even though I have come around to Halo, I don't think I'll ever come back around to Call of Duty, but that is probably better left until another post altogether.

Prepare to scoff: this is my favorite racing game series.

I am a pretty big racing game fan. I'm a car nut, so it's pretty logical to see the connection for me. I grew up playing the de facto racing game series, Gran Turismo. The first racing game I actively recall playing first was Pole Position, but this post isn't about either of those games. No, this post is about Shutokou Battle, also known as Tokyo Xtreme Racer here in the United States.

These are the Shutokou Battle games I own.

The first time I saw this game, it was the Dreamcast version and it was at Funcoland. Not Gamestop, but the predecessor to Gamestop. I only saw about 30 seconds of racing, but minutes of some kid assembling his license plate on a Honda Civic. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Mind you I was like 15.

Anyway, a few years later I happened across a copy of Tokyo Xtreme Racer Zero for the PS2, which would be my first foray into the franchise. I was lured in by the box art and images on the back of the box...it looked sweet as shit. I purchased it for paltry sum of forty-five doll hairs, and took it home to my PS2. I shortly became addicted to the game, as it had the perfect combination of shit I liked and they were all in the same proportions.

TXR is a pretty simple game. You are a street racer in Japan, racing on the freeways known as the Wangan. Unlike most games where you choose a track and then go race people for a few laps, this game functions completely differently. When you get ready to race, you select an on-ramp to the freeway and select a direction you wish to head (east/west, north/south, etc.). You then just get plopped out onto the freeway to find your rivals.

When you hit the mean streets of Japan, you will begin you search for people to challenge. The "enemies" in the game are denoted with a huge ass arrow above their car, and to challenge them you flash your headlights to begin the race. If you are eligible to race them, there is a quick countdown and you begin the race. The duration of the race is dependent on the Spirit Gauge at the top of the screen, which is pretty much your health bar. If you are behind your opponent you lose Spirit, get too far behind and it depletes even faster. If you are ahead of your opponent, their gauge drops. Whoever loses all their Spirit first loses. I think hitting walls also depletes your SP as well. I think it's actually referred to as something else, but I've always called it Spirit.

The coolest part of the game, however, is the customization. TXR lets you fully customize your cars, both mechanically and visually. They have a whole slew of body parts, wheels and other bits to keep your busy for a long while. You also have the option of adding custom paint jobs to them as well. The earlier games sport a huge list of cars, where the newest version of the 360 has a truncated list. Either way, you'll have tons of fun racing these things around and making them look like giant toys. Super fun.

The little bars at the top of the screen are your "health."

After I got hooked on Tokyo Xtreme Racer Zero, I wouldn't give it up until I beat every person in the game. The Wangan is home to a whole shitload of racing gangs you have to beat. Each gang is about 5 or 6 cars, with a boss after you've beaten the lower level dudes. The bosses are always cheap assholes who are about 10x faster than their counterparts, so watch out for that shit. Aside from the gang bosses, there is a gang of bosses like the 12 devils or something, all of which are douches. ASIDE FROM THAT GANG there are a whole slew of "wanderers" who are drivers that aren't from the area who wander the freeway. These are special racers that require you to meet certain criteria to face (like have 12 cars in your garage, have 100,000 credits, etc.) or only appear at certain places and times. Once you beat all of these people, which is 399 racers, you get to face the ultimate boss who is absurdly fast and ultra cheap.

I vividly remember beating him back in college, it was around this time 10 years ago. I tried for a few days to beat this bastard, but he was way too fucking fast. I was using a super-duper-deluxe 1000+ hp Skyline that could do over 200mph and it still wasn't fast enough to beat the last boss on the straights. I then decided to follow him until the curvy bits of the road to challenge him, and he'd still beat my ass. So after trying for hours, I finally got him on a curvy bit and got him to this giant loop in the south-western corner of the expressway. He was directly behind me as we went around the loop, dodging in and out of cars. There was a big truck changing lanes to the right, and I took the opportunity to pass him on the right in the emergency lane. The boss guy ran smack dab into the back of the truck and spun out. I saw this happen in the rear-view mirror and just hauled ass. Luckily for me, he never got back up close enough to pass me and I finally beat him. I jumped out of my chair, screamed and ran around the house screaming "I BEAT HIM! I DID IT! I BEAT HIM!"

I don't really know how many hours I put into TXRZ, but it was a shitload. I started searching out other TXR games, and found out it was called something else in Japan (like almost every other game, ever). In Japan it's called Shutokou Battle. I was always checking for news and updates on Shutokou Battle in Japan, because TXR was basically a budget brand here in the states and nobody gave a rats ass about it. When Shutokou Battle Zero-One came out, I was all up in that bitch with my credit card ordering the game from Play-Asia. I paid $60 for the game, and it was released about 9 months later here in the states as Tokyo Xtreme Racer 3 for $20 new. But I will say it was totally worth it.

Shutokou Battle Zero-One is pretty much the same exact game as TXRZ, but with updated graphics and a bunch of new cars. They also added two new freeways to explore, each one with their own gangs. The most annoying thing was the return of the Evo gang, who you had to race back to back and is always a bitch. The last boss was actually different in this version, but still a bitch. Overall, it was a great game and a worthy successor.

PSP version of the game.

A portable version of the game came out for the PSP about a year after that, a game I also imported as soon as I could. It functioned differently than the original series, as you didn't patrol the streets looking for races. You selected your opponents to race and then raced them. I never got far in this game, because unlike Shutokou Battle Zero-One which had easy to read menus, this one had a crapload of kanji that I never figured out. I couldn't understand what was happening in the game most of the time, so I sorta gave up. SB01 was pretty easy to decipher, as you only had to read the menus which were mostly in hiragana. I've been trying to track down the US version, which was called Street Supremacy.

Da fuq?

Import Tuner Challenge in action. Kinda.

A few years down the road, TXR was brought onto the current generation of consoles, this time sporting the name Import Tuner Challenge. The game was practically the same, except this time there were licensed cars and online play. The car list was a lot smaller this go-round, so you had to pretty much stick with a Legacy or Skyline to kick major ass. (Pro-tip: the Subaru Legacy must be the developers favorite cars because they are all ridiculously fast.) The online play was more annoying than it was worth. Instead of just throwing you out on an open road to race random people, you queued up with people for drag races on stretches of the road. If you were winning, more often than not your opponent would just lose and you'd get a draw. It was fucking annoying because you could seriously never win. Now nobody plays. Bummer.

There was an online version of the game in Japan, but you had to be Japanese to play it which was a bummer, because I would have liked to give it a whirl.

Kaido Battle 2. Shit's fun.

Since then there have only been two additional games in the franchise released in the US that aren't actually Shutokou Battle games. They are called Tokyo Xtreme Racer Drift (and it's sequel which is just TXRD2) and are actually ports of Kaido Battle 1&2 which are made by Genki, who developed Shutokou Battle. I actually have Kaido Battle 2, and it's a fucking great game. Kaido Battle is a mountain racing game, both grip and drifting. It's focused more on the drift aspect than the grip, but they both have their place in the campaign mode. This game you select an opponent to race from a parking lot and then go to battle on the road. There are a bunch of different modes, and you practice during the day and race opponents at night. There is also a date mode where you try to woo girls with your Silvia, but I can't understand any of it in Japanese and I don't even think it's in the US version. It has the customization from SB/TXR, but looks better in my opinion. The car list for this game is also pretty huge, and they are licensed cars this time, as well.

TXR Drift / Kaido Battle!

It's sort of a shame that these games don't get more credit and are marketed so poorly here in the states. I think they are all pretty damn solid games, deserving of more plays from us doofuses here in the US. TXRZ seemed to be marketed on the back of Fast and the Furious, which seems like it was a movie licensed game, which simply isn't true. Every game since Zero on the PS2 has been released as a budget title in the states, which is good for us cheap-asses, but budget titles are frequently overlooked. It might not have the polish and name of Gran Turismo, but it's way more fun and I'd choose it over GT anyday.

Neo Geo MVS is probably the best thing ever.

So this is a thing that I own. It's a 1-slot Neo Geo MVS. In case you don't know what that is, it's basically a cartridge based arcade platform released by SNK in the early 90's. This particular machine is a hodge-podge of kits put together, but we'll worry about that later.

There are two of my cartirdges, I should have put something
next to them for size reference.
They are about the size of a Nintendo 64.

First of all, the Neo Geo is a legendary gaming console. It started off as an arcade platform which used interchangable cartridges, which allowed arcade operators to just purchase new cartridges instead of brand new machines. This kept costs down for operators, and allowed them to swap out games more often. The system was a HUGE success, and is in fact supported to this day (at least maintenance wise, games have been out of production for a few years).

The arcade platform took off, so SNK literally slapped the boards in a plastic casing and sold them as the Neo Geo AES for home use. There are differences in the cartridges, so operators wouldn't go out and buy the cheaper home versions of the games. However, AES cartridges were still several hundred dollars. What is interesting is that MVS carts nowadays are considerably cheaper than home carts. You can pick up Metal Slug X for your MVS for about $40 or so, whereas the AES cart for the home system is several hundred dollars. I haven't tracked prices on these things in a while, so that might not be the case these days. I will say I bought Fatal Fury Special for $20 with shipping included from Canada.

Growing up, I always wanted to get a Neo Geo. I used to look longingly at AES listings on eBay back when eBay was still good, and that was a long ass time ago. They were (and still are) fairly expensive to own. The console will set you back AT LEAST $300, and most of the time that doesn't include shipping. Not to mention if you want to play games (good ones) they all costs $150+. Every once in a while you can find a good deal, and walk away with a full console for MAYBE $250 on eBay with shipping. That's rare.

Fatal Fury Special

The story of how I came about owning this beast is pretty sweet, at least in my opinion. It all started when my friend Brian and I built a MAME machine a long time ago. Brian funded the project, and I supplied the garage to assemble it. We printed out plans to cut the wood on the internet, bought all the parts and put that shit together. The final result was pretty janky, but that damn thing worked and was a shitload of fun. I remember sitting at his apartment playing Gauntlet until I practically fell asleep on top of the machine. At this point, we were both addicted to the hobby.

A few months later, we attended our first arcade auction and pretty much had an absolute blast. If you ever get a chance to go to an arcade auction, do it. You could end up getting something awesome for next to nothing, and either way you get to play a shitload of games. The auctions have a preview period that starts at like 8am, and this allows you to go around the lots and check out the games to make sure they work. After a few hours, the fast-talkin' auctioneer comes out and starts yammering next to machines while people place bids using a piece of paper. It's quite addicting. One time I got in a bid battle with some jack-off over a Atomiswave machine and lost. Damn, I wanted that machine so bad!

Whatchu know bout dat Metal Slug X mini-marquee?

Before I continue, I have a few tips on going to an auction. First, don't worry about getting there too early, the preview period is loooooooooooooooooooong. Second, bring a flashlight and extension cord, you will need these if you plan on buying anything. Third, bring a truck or a trailer just in case. Fourth, hope you don't want a Golden Tee, because those go for the most money every single time.

This is what is inside an arcade machine.

Anyway, I ended up getting my machine at the first auction we went to. We had scoped out a few Neo Geo cabinets in the line-up and gave them a look-see. When the bidding portion began, I ended up winning the first Neo Geo machine in the line-up and it wasn't even this machine. It was a converted Nintendo PlayChoice 10 cabinet, but it had Metal Slug X in it. I bought it for $325 if I recall correctly. The bidding continued, and Brian won the next machine in the line-up, which is this machine and it came with Bubble Bobble. He paid like $150 or something like that.

After we won our cabinets, we realized we drove there in his Sentra. Sooooo, I had to call my dad, who ended up driving down to Lakewood to pick up the machines and drive them back up to my house. Once we got the machines back up to my house, we ended up swapping cabinets, but keeping our respective game carts. I don't really know why we did, but I wanted this cabinet and Brian wanted mine, so we swapped. Turns out the cabinet I bought had janky wiring in the control panel and wouldn't work right, and he had to rewire it when I gave it to him. The machine he won, and subsequently gave to me, worked perfectly fine, save for a little flicker in the screen while it was warming up.

Metal Slug X

I have a few games for the thing; Metal Slug X, Fatal Fury Special and King of Fighters 94. All three of these games kick ass. I really want to pick up a copy of SVC Chaos for it, but I've heard the MVS cart is a little laggy compared to the dedicated board. Since most MVS carts are pretty cheap, I'll probably try to pick up a few more games for it in the near future. You can never have too many MVS games.

The cabinet itself is is fairly good condition. It's a converted something, I can't remember what it was. I think it was a Donkey Kong Jr. or something. What is nice about it is the control panel is metal, so it's pretty durable. I believe the monitor is a replacement one, as it's not a full 26" like the cabinet holds which is why there is a red bezel around the monitor. It still looks great and has pretty much no burn-in. The controls still work, but the joysticks could use replacing. The board only supports mono sound output, so the one speaker is all I get.

Unfortunately for me, this thing just sits in my dad's basement. I haven't really had a place to put it other than there, because the thing is fucking gargantuan. It's a small cabinet by comparison, but it's still pretty huge and heavy. Maybe I can talk my girlfriend into letting me put it in the apartment. Probably not. I really wish I could play this thing more often, it really brings me back to the days when I would kill time in the arcade at Southlake Mall while my mom shopped for towels or something. I really wish arcades like that still existed today, because I'd spend all of my money and time in them. Arcades are awesome.

Prey is a criminally underrated game.

So good, I bought it twice.

A long, long time ago there was a company called 3d Realms. Well, they were around until a few years ago, at least. They were a game company out of Texas that made a little game called Duke Nukem 3d back in the mid-90's. Even though that game was amazing, and probably one of my favorite games of all the times combined into one time; 3d Realms will be known as the studio who took 15 years to develop and release a highly anticipated sequel that truly sucked huge donkey dong. But don't fret too soon, 3d Realms had another title that sat in development hell and it turned out to be quite good, actually.

Prey was originally slated to release in the late 90's, after Duke Nukem Forever (yes, really). It was partially developed before being scrapped and shelved, primarily due to technical difficulties. After a few years the game was totally rebooted by Human Head Studios, and finally released on PC and Xbox 360 in 2006. That is glossing over quite a bit of the game's history, but that's the general idea.

The game puts you in the shoes of a guy named Tommy, who is a Native American who has a girlfriend that is a bar tender. Long story short, you end up getting abducted by aliens and you have to fight your way out. Oh yeah, and your grandfather is there, too.

That's your grandfather. He's old.

Prey had very interesting gameplay mechanics, one of which being the weird gravity while on the alien vessel. You can walk up to a wall...and then walk up it. It's really sweet, actually. You also gain a spirit form to do certain tasks, and when you die you enter a spirit state where you shoot these soul bats to refill your life and energy. The biggest part of the game was the portal technology, which paved the way for the more renowned Portal in the coming years.

I don't really want to get into the nitty gritty about how the game plays, and if it sucks or not. I'll just tell you it's great and it's 100% worth playing. It's fun pretty much throughout, and there are some really cool moments during the game, as well. For the time, the game was pretty much cutting edge and I'm fairly sure most will scoff at it's visuals six years later. Either way, this game is probably $5 these days and worth at least 10 times that amount in my eyes.

There are some pretty ridiculous moments in the game, and ones I don't want to spoil, either. The one thing I will share with you is my affection for the ending credits in this game. At the very end of the game, you hear the song "Take Me Home" by the After Midnight Project, which is a pretty much no-name band from California. This song on it's own really isn't that special, but I 100% guarantee you this will become one of your most memorable video game moments when you finally beat this game and the end credits roll and this song starts playing. If you don't shed at least a single tear, you are a fucking terrorist from the Moon. I've shared this experience with two other people, and they both know what the fuck is up.

I'm telling you, this song at the end of the game. It's perfect.

I really think if you haven't played this game, you owe it to yourself to play it. It's not too terribly long, but it's slam packed with crunk ass shit. You fight ghost babies at one point. GHOST BABIES. That shit is horrifying, too. So heads up when that happens.